The word “subordinate” comes from the Latin sub- and -ordinare, meaning “placed in an inferior rank.” As a leader, the people you manage – your subordinates – occupy that inferior rank. There are many paths to strong leadership, several of which I pioneered in my New York Times bestselling book, Leading From Behind. We will explore a select few here, as you learn to lead – from the back.
Never Remember Subordinates’ Names
Our names are very much part of our identity. When you see Sam Eaton the Software Engineer, you empower him when you address him by his first name. You say to him, “You are a person whose name is worth remembering,” but he is in an inferior rank. The issue should be obvious.
Three ways around this: first, you can consider just using his surname. “Eaton. Get over here.” That conveys what you need from him, without using his given name; just the one he inherited. Secondly, you can refer to him by his role: “You, software engineer. When will you be done with your task?” Lastly, you can use the more advanced technique of calling him by a name that sounds similar, but is not the same: "Dan Easton, thanks for showing up finally."
With these techniques, you can strip him of all identity outside of the utility he provides to the team – and most importantly, you.
Answer Emails In Hierarchical Order
If my subordinate emails me, it can wait until I’ve gone through more important things; my time is more valuable than theirs, as evidenced by their inferior rank. If a subordinate of my subordinate emails me, my time is doubly valuable; I will likely never even respond to it. This is not an oversight; it is a system.
This becomes more nuanced with colleagues. If one of your “equals” emails you, and you sense they are vying for power in the company in one way or another, make them wait for your response. You’re signaling to all of your other “equals” that you are the one truly in power here. Remember that time is one of the most valuable resources we have, and you are not just managing time; you are reallocating it from the weak to the powerful.
Schedule One-on-One Meetings Frequently, With No Agenda
When you schedule a One-on-One, subordinates expect an agenda. When you schedule a One-on-One without an agenda, you are assessing whether there’s something they think you would want to talk about: performance, behavior, etc. Within the first minute, you can diagnose whether they are operating at peak performance or bracing for disciplinary action.
This technique can be even stronger if you don’t call it a One-on-One in the meeting invite. Something like “Touchbase” introduces just enough ambiguity to destabilize them, which can be panic-inducing for them and therefore powerful for you. For maximum effect, Slack them directly: “Got a minute?” or simply, “Can you talk?” Clarity is a gift. As a leader, it is not one you should give freely.
Message Them When They're Not Working
When I know a subordinate has a family, this tactic becomes especially effective. Send an email or a Slack at 6:00PM, scheduling a meeting or asking them a menial question. The subject doesn't really matter; what you're communicating is simple: “I'm working outside of 9-5 – why aren't you?” For consistency, schedule emails to send periodically throughout the evening and early morning.
This is also useful when a subordinate is on vacation. As leaders, we offer PTO as a carrot to entice the subordinate, but that doesn't mean they should actually use it. You can subtly teach them that their vacation time is actually still your time by sending periodic messages as reminders. Over time, they'll learn that time off is a privilege, not a boundary.
Interrupt Subordinates To Establish Dominance
Meetings are a stage where power is won and lost. It's where subordinates timidly present ideas, vying for purchase as they scramble to unseat you from your throne. It's also where you can interrupt them frequently – ideally with needlessly clarifying questions – to remind them that you are the master, and they, the peon.
It is important to wait until they've built up steam, and match their cadence with more interruptions if needed. Step out mid-presentation for a call, feigning embarrassment. If they're struggling while presenting, look at your phone conspicuously to make it known you're not paying attention. This communicates to the presenter that you do not care about what they're saying, but allows them to make a fool of themselves in front of their peers; no need for you to do that job yourself.
Reassign Subordinates The Moment They're Comfortable
After enough time working in a single context, a subordinate might begin to feel knowledgeable or even comfortable. Conventional wisdom suggests encouraging this as it might increase velocity and reduce errors; this is categorically incorrect. Comfort breeds complacency. Complacency diminishes fear for their job, which means lower velocity and less attention to detail.
The key is to wait until the subordinate is at the initial velocity bump, and then move them to another project. This puts them in unfamiliar intellectual territory, destabilizing their bid for power and reestablishing your primacy. Competency is temporary; authority is not.
Use “We” For Failures and “I” For Successes
A team shares in failure; a leader claims responsibility for success. Subordinates may operate as individual contributors, but outcomes are only coherent when framed through leadership.
We can convey this in our language. When something goes wrong, “We missed the mark.” When something goes right, “I pushed in this direction.” You are not correcting language – you are correcting perception. Over time, they will learn what they are responsible for (very little), and what you are responsible for deciding (everything).
A strong organization is not one where everyone is aligned—it is one where only one person is allowed to define alignment.