WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a successful launch of the Artemis II mission this Wednesday, NASA Public Affairs Officer Karen Hunt revealed shocking information about one of the lunar astronauts.
“Although we had a historic, successful launch, it has come to our attention that Mission Specialist Daniel Lee may have embellished his qualifications prior to applying for the Artemis program,” she said. “We believe he may have lied on his resume.”
“We have no reason to believe this has jeopardized the safety of the other astronauts, nor the likelihood of success on the mission,” she continued amid a flurry of questions. “We will keep the public informed as always.”
The floor was then opened to questions. We’ll list the questions and answers below.
What was embellished on his resume?
Hunt: “It would appear that his education history was significantly exaggerated. He listed a ‘Doctorate of Alien Rocketry – Harvard,’ and it wasn't flagged by our interns until the mission was already underway. He also claimed to have served as a fighter pilot in the United States Navy, but we have found no record of his service in any Armed Forces branch.”
Why was this not caught sooner?
“We got thousands of qualified applicants on our LinkedIn post, and it was not within our human resources capacity to thoroughly verify every item in each of those resumes. Mr. Lee interviewed really well, and performed slightly above average in performance exercises. He also displayed strong interpersonal communication with the existing team, which is crucial for long duration missions.”
How is this impacting the mission?
“So far, we're not aware of any critical impacts to the mission. Commander Reid Wiseman noticed Mr. Lee's inability to find the button for his seatbelt, as well as his surprise that he couldn't use his personal phone to Google instructions. We believe he's experienced motion sickness several times during launch, which is common among first-time astronauts.”
Is he currently performing mission duties?
“We are encouraging Mr. Lee to focus on observational responsibilities after he made unintended contact with a control panel during initial zero-gravity flight. We were able to verify his culinary experience, so we're exploring opportunities for him to assist the team in meal-related tasks.”
Officials later clarified that the meals onboard are already pre-prepared and require no cooking.
Will Mr. Lee be allowed to operate any equipment?
“While we have concerns regarding portions of Mr. Lee's background, NASA maintains a culture of personal development, and will be providing him opportunities for on-the-job training. Certain systems, such as the refrigerator and airlock, require minimal onboarding, and we believe this will enable the rest of the team to better perform their roles.”
How confident are you in the success of this mission?
“Very. As Mr. Lee uptrains, we anticipate only an increase in the overall mission success probability compared to this point in time. Most importantly, chemistry among the team is important to maintain focus and morale, and he's a great guy.”
Is there a contingency plan if Mr. Lee continues to struggle?
“For long duration missions like this, every gram of payload is accounted for. We are exploring crew rebalancing procedures in the event that there are critical weight or fuel restrictions, which could include the removal of crew personnel mid-operation. This decision is made purely based on education level, with his partial community college coursework ranking the lowest among the crew.”
At the beginning of the next question, Hunt was briefly pulled aside by an aide before exiting the stage. The phrase “he’s asking when we land” was heard on the hot microphone.
The mission will conclude on Saturday, April 11th.