FORT COLLINS, CO – After backlash to its plan to install billboards across campus, Colorado State University announced a series of “less intrusive” advertising alternatives Tuesday.
“We’re exploring other revenue streams that are less intrusive and still aligned with our culture,” said CSU President Amy Parsons. “These programs will remain aligned with our commitment to environmental sustainability, and we have several partners in the energy industry that want to carry this to our classrooms. We’re working with Shell, Chevron, and others to include advertisements in Pearson and McGraw Hill textbooks. There will be no more than one or two ads per page, and this will drive down costs for both the school and the students. The ads will never interrupt diagrams, problem sets, or other critical sections, unless absolutely necessary.”
“Both Shell and Chevron, as well as others, have expressed interest in naming rights for classrooms, as well as sponsored lectures, especially in sustainability-, ethics-, and energy-adjacent curricula. Soon, our students will experience lectures like ‘Sustainable Futures, Brought to You by Chevron’ and ‘Ethical Computing Systems, Sponsored by Palantir.’”
Continuing with changes outside the classroom, Parsons skipped to graduation. “We believe that there are great opportunities for students to express their individual areas of expertise later this year, when we introduce a mandatory diploma sponsorship. Some examples that I’ve seen include Bachelor of Mechanical Sciences Presented by Lockheed Martin and Purina Doctor of Veterinary Medicine,” she said. “These partnerships not only help us with learning materials and other costs, but can be a shoe-in for students post-graduation.”
Midway through the conference, a familiar face appeared on stage as CAM the Ram cartwheeled out, ripping off his signature green shirt to reveal a white Raytheon shirt beneath. “Everyone, meet CAM the Ram by Raytheon!” Amid cheers and claps, she continued: “Cam and the rest of the CSU Spirit Squad have been graciously sponsored by Raytheon. Raytheon: faster, farther, and ready for the future.”
“Another of our newest initiatives is our Toll Lane Bike Program,” she said. “We will be converting some of the more direct bike paths into toll lanes in our commitment to keeping tuition costs down. Of course, students will still be able to access any part of campus via bike, but these paths allow for faster transit in exchange for a nominal fee at toll booths. We’ll offer an optional EZ-Pass system upgrade, which will be very helpful during the surge pricing at toll booths between classes.”
“The last income stream I’m announcing today is our Ad-Free Campus Experience, which is an annual fee students have the opportunity to pay in order to be exempted from things like ads in textbooks and tolls on the Toll Lane Bike Program,” Parsons said. “We’re still working on pricing, but the Ad-Free Campus Experience will certainly be no more than the full base cost of tuition, and will be included in tuition fees by default unless students opt out.”
Although the press conference was not open to questions, Parsons left with a final closing remark. “I reiterate that CSU is committed to providing an organic, unobtrusive campus experience to our students in a way that can also keep tuition costs low. After we’ve had time to evaluate the efficacy of these programs, we may ultimately just have to raise tuition anyway.”