BOULDER, COLORADO – On Monday, Boulder’s City Council held a hearing on proposed legislation to remove the iconic Flatirons that have framed the city’s skyline for millions of years and have been part of the city’s charm since its inception.
The hearing gave a platform for residents to speak their opinions, and for city officials to speak on logistics and cost. Many residents spoke about how the mountain range obstructed their view.
“I’m a Boulder native, and I bought my house here in 2021 for $1.3 million,” said Chad Geofferson, a personal injury attorney. “You spend all this time looking at Zillow, trying to find the right fit, and you spend so much money, and you can’t even see the sunset because these huge mountains are in the way.”
“Listen, I get that they’re pretty, but I pay my fair share of taxes and for what? An obstructed view of the sunset and the mountains further back in the Rockies,” said Lisa Montoya, owner of a local cafe.
Notably, most residents sharing their views were homeowners. Missing were student representatives from University of Colorado Boulder, as they were on Spring Break and largely unavailable for comment.
Rachel Krczmarik, the Chief Siteline Officer for Boulder County, had much to say about the initiative. “We’ve been aware of the changing needs of Boulder’s residents for a long time, and there is a growing consensus that the siteline requires further optimization. The Flatirons Migration League is exploring all mitigation efforts, including shaving the mountains down, exploding them, or relocating them to the East side of Boulder.”
When the floor was open to questions, one concerned citizen spoke up: Milly Pugh, a professor of Geology at CU. “I’m not sure how this legislation even got this far,” she began. “But these suggestions are completely unfeasible. I understand wanting the mountains gone – I’d like my sunsets back too – but each Flatiron weighs in between 7 and 10 billion pounds. We can’t possibly expect to move that much rock, even if we use strategic shaving from the top down.” Ms. Pugh was booed by many of the attending Boulderites, proving to be the most exciting scene of the night.
Geoff Chadwick, an urban planner with the City of Boulder, took the podium after Ms. Pugh, advocating for relocation. “My interpretation of the Flatirons Migration League is that we’re going to build a conveyor belt from the Flatirons, over the city, and to the East side of Boulder, where, according to city planners, there is currently ‘less activity.’ That way we can move one rock at a time with minimal disruption. Once we have the stones out east, we can begin reassembling the Flatirons, using detailed assembly instructions that the FML will document during the initial deconstruction.”
The City Council voted unanimously to include proposed bill 513C, to migrate the Flatirons east of Boulder, on this November’s ballot. Citizens will vote on the initiative at that time, and support seems strong, particularly among residents with West-facing views.